Pick Your Poison
by Zana Zira
Summary: While gathering ingredients for dinner as a favor to Ignis, Noctis and Prompto find out the hard way why they should have paid more attention to all of the advisor's botany lessons, and Ignis is left to deal with some unfortunate consequences as a result of their simple mistake. Sick/Poisoned!Ignis whump, Worried!Gladio, Worried/Guilty!Noctis, Worried/Guilty!Prompto. Gen.


**A/N: Hi, everyone! INCREDIBLY long time, no see! (What's it been, something like 3 years? Wow!) Anyway, I'm back, and have taken a biiit of a detour from my former _Supernatural_ obsession to dive into the wonderful world of Final Fantasy XV. **

**This is my first fic for the series, and I am honestly more than a little nervous and insecure about my writing after being out of practice for such a long time, but I am MEGA excited to get back into fanfic.**

 **Ignis "volunteered as tribute" to be my lucky guest star in this one, and I definitely didn't go easy on him. Next it'll be Gladio's turn, heheheh... ;)**

 **Alright, enough rambling, take a look and let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Well, it seems we've finally arrived," Ignis announced to the others as he brought the Regalia to a stop on the side of an empty road, tires crunching softly against the gravel. He stepped out of the vehicle and gently closed the door, taking a moment to enjoy the scents of recent rain and fresh greenery as he peered around at the circular clearing that encompassed the haven. "This should serve well enough for us to rest tonight; tomorrow morning, we'll cover the rest of the distance to Hammerhead."

"Ugh, _finally,_ " Noctis griped from the backseat, climbing stiffly out of the car and stretching with a jaw-popping yawn. "I thought these hunts would never end."

"Longest. Week. Ever," Prompto agreed, whipping out his camera to take a few half-hearted shots of the Haven before sighing and rubbing his stomach. "Man, I'm so hungry… Don't know how much longer I can go on," he whined as he flopped dramatically down on his back, shooting Ignis the most pathetic look he could manage in the hope that it would get him to start cooking faster.

It had been a long, exhausting week for all of them, with the four men jumping from hunt to hunt in an effort to scrounge up some more gil so they could restock their supply of curatives and other necessities. They had tried their best to avoid using any more potions than necessary – after all, it sort of defeated the point if they used up the last of their stock trying to earn money for more. They were a little worse for wear as a result, their clothes rumpled, dirty, and – in the case of Gladio's vest and Prompto's trousers – ripped, and all four sported some uncomfortable cuts and bruises on the surface and a slew of aches and strains beneath. It would definitely be nice to reach Hammerhead and have a nice hot shower and some fresh clothes, not to mention sleep in some proper beds instead of on the hard, cold forest floor.

"Well that is indeed concerning, Prompto," Ignis answered with an amused smirk as he reached into the trunk for a small cooler containing a chickatrice they had hunted earlier that day and carried it toward the camp stove. "It wouldn't do to have one of us succumbing to starvation when we are so close to our intended destination. Since Gladio is currently preoccupied with building our camp, I will begin preparations for dinner. This chickatrice still needs to be plucked and skinned before it can be properly roasted. While I do so, why don't you and Noct venture out and search for something to eat along with it? I believe I saw some wild potatoes growing near the road about half a mile from here. Those might go nicely roasted and paired with some mushrooms, if you happen to spot any. I believe some species of chanterelle mushrooms grow in this region, and they are especially pleasant when paired with poultry."

"You got it, Iggs," Prompto said cheerfully, rolling to his feet and grabbing Noctis's arm before dragging his friend toward the edge of the haven. "We'll be back in a jiff!" He gasped as he almost tripped over a large root, laughing nervously as he caught himself on one knee. "Totally meant to do that."

"Sure you did," Noctis muttered as he rolled his eyes.

"Do keep your wits about you," Ignis called after them. "There will still be food here when you return – no need to get careless."

Prompto had the grace to look sheepish, giving Ignis and Gladio another wave over his shoulder as he and Noctis made their way into the forest.

It didn't take the two of them long to find the patch of small spuds Ignis had mentioned, and only ten or fifteen minutes after that to dig up a sufficient number to roast for tonight's dinner. They made sure to throw back the young, green ones, knowing those could make people sick if they ate enough of them, and they tasted nasty besides. Noctis was more than happy to help, for once, potatoes being one of the few foods Ignis counted as a "vegetable" that he could actually stand to eat and wouldn't have to sneak onto Gladio's plate while Iggy had his back turned.

Once that was done and they had filled their basket with a few dozen tiny 'taters (and playfully lobbed a couple of dirt clods at each other in between, because really, who could resist?) Prompto began searching around the area for the mushrooms Ignis had mentioned. The only thing was, he had no idea what a "chanterelle" mushroom was, let alone what it looked like. Noctis did a quick Moogle search on his phone, coming up with a few images he could use for reference, and Prompto did his best to commit the image of the wavy yellow-orange fungi to memory.

They trudged lazily through the foliage for a while, keeping their gazes focused on the ground and the roots of trees since that was where most mushrooms tended to grow, but so far they had found nothing but some half-withered toadstools and a few red polka-dotted _Fly Amanita_ , which Prompto noted with amusement sounded kind of like "Amicitia." It was getting closer to sunset, too, which meant that in a few minutes they'd have to head back, mushrooms or no, or else risk getting stuck out here in the middle of some hungry daemon's hunting ground.

Prompto was about to suggest this to Noct when he saw a splash of light orange in the corner of his eye, almost hidden behind the roots of a large oak tree. He circled the tree and crouched down in front of the cluster of orange caps sprouting from the base, mentally comparing them to the images Noct had shown him. They looked the same, from their bright orange-yellow coloring to the multitude of long frills running up the underside, and he smiled as he realized he would be able to bring some back for Ignis after all. He knew Noct wouldn't be eating them, and neither would he since he'd always had kind of a _thing_ about mushrooms and their odd, soft-but-somehow-leathery texture, but it was obvious that Ignis was fond of them and it would be nice for him to get to eat something he specifically enjoyed, for a change.

He nicked the basket from Noct and began filling it with the mushrooms, making sure to pull them up from the sturdiest part of the stem and keeping them on top of the potatoes so the delicate tops wouldn't get smashed. Mission accomplished, he fetched Noct, who with nothing better to do was sitting on a hollow log playing King's Knight, and they headed back to camp.

Dinner that night was delicious, as expected. With the other three helping to wash the dirt from the potatoes and mushrooms, it didn't take long before dinner was ready, the vegetables placed on large skewers to roast around the edge of the fire while Ignis flipped and seasoned the sizzling cockatrice meat in a cast-iron skillet. They were all ravenous by now, Ignis included, and no one wasted any time in digging in once he plated some of the meat and passed around the skewers for them to take.

"This is _awesome_ , Iggy," Gladio grunted as he tore into the meat like a Voretooth, hardly chewing one bite before gulping it down and diving into the next. He scoffed a few of the potatoes as well, not seeming to care that they were still piping hot, and then thumped his chest and belched thunderously before starting into the next bit of bird, his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk's. "R'lly hitsh th' shpot."

Ignis gave a put-upon sigh, lifting a skewer of chanterelles up to his lips and delicately plucking one off between his teeth. He was slightly disappointed that he seemed to be the only one interested in them, given that Prompto and Noctis apparently _both_ detested mushrooms and Gladio was too busy filling himself with meat and potatoes to eat more than a couple off of one of the skewers, but he had to admit to feeling a bit pleased as well, since they were a rare treat and this meant he could keep more of them for himself to enjoy.

"I thank you for the compliment," he said after he had carefully chewed and swallowed the savory delicacy, "although your delivery could use a bit of work." Gladio shrugged and belched again in response, and the advisor rolled his eyes.

"So, uh, what's our timeline for tomorrow?" Prompto piped up, stretching to try to reach for another piece of meat with his fork and smiling when Ignis helpfully pushed the skillet closer to him. "I mean, are we gonna get there in time to do some sight-seeing?"

"And by 'sight-seeing,' I'm guessing you mean staring at Cindy?" Noctis teased, laughing when his friend's pale face immediately turned a few shades darker.

"No, sh-shut up!" Prompto stammered, punching Noct in the shoulder when his nervousness just made his friend laugh harder. "Not like I can help staring at her…" he muttered under his breath, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his crossed arms over them as he tore off a bite of his dinner with redirected vengeance.

"Honestly, dude, I'm surprised your entire camera isn't full of nothing but Cindy," Noct went on. "I mean, I get it, she does have awesome –"

"Finish that sentence and I _will_ shoot you."

"Alright, alright, leave 'im alone," Gladio chuckled. "Last thing we need is Full Metal Chocobo goin' off on us in our sleep."

Noctis huffed a laugh again but relented, and the rest of their dinner was eaten in companionable silence. With Gladio being the only other person to try one, Ignis wound up finishing three of the four mushroom skewers by himself, which was quite a bit more food than he was accustomed to eating in one sitting and left him feeling rather sluggish and sleepy. Thankfully there were not many dishes to wash, and before long the four of them had retired to their tent, too exhausted to bother staying up on their phones or chatting around the fire as they usually might. The night was cool and peaceful, a gentle breeze rustling the branches above while the fire crackled warmly just outside the tent, and once they had settled down it took just moments for them all to fall asleep.

 **~FFXV~**

Gladio wasn't sure at first what had awakened him. It was still dark, and there was a little bit of firelight visible through the canvas of the tent, so it was probably just a couple of hours before daybreak. He felt kind of warm, bordering on uncomfortable even, but he knew that alone wouldn't have been enough to wake him. They'd spent too much time sleeping in hot, humid, miserable places for him to be fazed by things like that anymore, and being as big and muscular as he was meant he was practically a human space heater anyway.

So what was it?

It took his foggy brain a painfully long time to piece it together, and he had nearly given up and fallen back asleep when he finally noticed a presence against his back that usually wouldn't be there on a night this warm, keeping all his extra heat from escaping. Well, that would explain it. Ignis was quite a bit thinner than Gladiolus, long-legged and built for speed and agility rather than brute strength, and he often ran colder than Gladio at night. Gladio had most likely been hogging the blankets again – not like he could help it, much as Iggy might nag him about it the next day – and the strategist had gotten too cool in his sleep.

He grunted and turned over, pulling a handful of the blanket with him to drape back over Ignis, and then stopped short. Something didn't seem right. For starters, Ignis was still fully covered in blankets, none of his limbs exposed to the air as he'd expected to see. Second, he was turned _away_ from Gladio, with his back facing the Shield and his body curled up almost into a ball around his arms. They had all been through way too much together to worry about things like personal space anymore, so Gladio knew none of them, even Ignis, would hesitate glom onto him like an octopus and use him as a living hot water bottle if they were cold. And third, he was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, which was completely at odds with the fact that he seemed to be freezing.

When the other man shuddered and curled up tighter, making an almost inaudible noise of discomfort, he decided enough was enough. "Iggy," he whispered, grasping Ignis's shoulder and shaking him gently. "Ignis, wake up."

"Hmmn?" Ignis mumbled, eyes cracking open as he pushed himself up onto his elbows and fumbled around for his glasses. "Gladio, what's the matter?"

"That's what I was gonna ask you. You were curled up and shivering in your sleep even under the blankets. You feelin' okay?"

Ignis paused for a moment, taking stock of himself while his brain came back online, and then his lips thinned into a displeased frown. "I… Now that you mention it, I suppose I do feel slightly 'off.' But I can't imagine why that… would…"

"Iggy?" Gladio asked, concerned now as his friend trailed off and sucked in a slow breath, eyes closed as if in pain. "You alri –"

He didn't have a chance to finish the question before Ignis gasped and his eyes opened wide. With none of his usual grace he scrambled over Gladio's legs, nearly kicking him in a very unfortunate area, and made it just outside the opening of their tent before doubling over and vomiting violently into the grass.

Gladio was just seconds behind him, powerless to do much but keep a steady hand on his back and make sure he didn't fall over while he choked up last night's dinner. It was hard for him to watch, not because he had a problem with people getting sick – enough years spent on the battlefield had eventually ensured that kind of thing just didn't faze him anymore – but because it clearly _did_ faze Ignis. He looked absolutely pitiful, his face drenched in sweat and tears streaming from his eyes, and it was honestly a little bit frightening to see the man who was usually so dignified and self-assured in such a vulnerable state. Ignis lurched forward and retched harshly again, his entire body curling over with the force of it, and began coughing roughly, gasping in what little air as he could between every new surge of sick.

"Easy, man, easy," Gladio said as he gave him what he hoped were a reassuring couple of pats on the back. "It'll be over in a sec, just relax." He wasn't sure if Ignis actually heard him or not, but the knotted muscles under his palm did seem to loosen by just a fraction. It took another couple of minutes, and Gladio winced in sympathy when Ignis started into the harsh dry heaving that he knew from experience always hurt worse than the actual puking, but finally he sank to the ground, leaning his back against a tree and panting softly as he caught his breath. A water bottle was pressed into Ignis's hand, and Gladio looked up, startled to see that it came not from him, but from Prompto.

"Thank you, Prom, Gladio," Ignis rasped, nodding to them each in turn before unscrewing the cap and taking a few careful sips. From the look on his face it wasn't even slightly appealing, but Ignis was always the one nagging them to stay hydrated when _they_ were sick, so Gladio wondered with some amusement if it was the sheer stubborn desire not to look like a hypocrite that allowed him to finish half the bottle and keep it down.

"Yeah, no problem," Prompto said nervously. The kid had never been good around sick people – Gladio knew he was a sympathy puker, so any time Noct caught some kind of bug he and Iggy usually just told him to keep his distance rather than have two sick teammates to deal with – and he was obviously unsure what to do but desperate to bring his friend comfort in any way he could.

"You, uh…" he trailed off, probably about to ask if Ignis was okay before realizing no, he was obviously not, "Can I get you anything? Saltines, a blanket…?"

Ignis cleared his throat, and when he replied his voice was thankfully a bit steadier. "Not at this moment, but I do appreciate the thought."

"What the hell was that, anyway?" Gladio asked. "I gotta be honest, in all the years I've known you I don't know that I've ever once seen you sick."

Ignis waved a hand dismissively, already getting to his feet and shooting Prompto a warning look when the gunner made to reach over and help him. "Nothing to concern yourselves with. I'm afraid I was rather too focused on not wasting the chanterelles Noctis and Prompto gathered and allowed myself to overindulge a bit, that's all – an unfortunate lapse in judgment on my part, and one I shan't be making a second time."

Prompto hummed low in his throat, obviously not entirely buying that excuse since they could both still see the sweat shining on Ignis's face and the moisture glistening in his eyes, but then again, it wasn't like he had any other answers for what this might be. "You're alright now, though?"

"Yes, I believe so. If you two would like to go back to sleep, I will join you shortly, but I would like to remain here for a short while."

Prompto and Gladio exchanged a look, and then reluctantly stood and turned back toward the tent, realizing Ignis's pride was likely pretty wounded. No matter how close he may have been to them, there were certain things Ignis was not willing to do in front of others, and losing control of his own body in front of them definitely had a place on that list; he probably wanted some time alone to pull himself together.

"Alright, but you holler if you need us," Gladio said as he held the tent flap open for Prompto to crawl inside. "I don't wanna find out you passed out and fell in the campfire or something because you were too stubborn to ask for help."

Ignis sighed but nodded, and Gladio figured that was the best he was going to get. He ducked back inside the tent and stretched out under the blanket, staying up for probably fifteen more minutes to listen for any sounds of distress from Ignis, and then without meaning to he let himself fall asleep again.

 **~FFXV~**

By the time the sun rose the next morning, Ignis was already busy preparing breakfast for them, as was his custom. His humiliation from the night before had yet to completely fade, so he would be damned if he told Prompto and Gladio that he had been sick thrice more during the night as well as dealt with some other, less pleasant gastrointestinal ailments. Whatever had caused his body such obvious displeasure had also kept him too uncomfortable to return to sleep, so he chose instead to sit by the fire and try to warm the shivers from his bones, giving up the battle for rest when he finally glimpsed the first light edging up over the horizon. But other than a dull, burning ache centered just above his navel and a bone-deep exhaustion that always seemed to be part and parcel of any sort of ailment, he truly did feel much better than he had a few hours prior.

Not long after he had put their plates of food beside the fire to keep them warm and made himself a nice, hot cup of Ebony, he noticed Gladio and Prompto making their way out of the tent, surprised to see that Noctis was close behind them as well. Ignis nodded to them in greeting, setting down his Ebony and presenting them with their plates – toast, bacon, and omelets with onions, peppers, and tomato for Gladio and Prompto, and a smaller omelet for himself with a few of the leftover mushrooms mixed in for flavor. He had chosen to scramble Noctis's eggs and season them with a pinch of salt and pepper, lacking the mental energy to deal with his complaints about vegetables today.

"I see you're up early this morning, Noct. Did you sleep well?" he asked, concerned that the prince might have been plagued by one of the nightmares he had frequently suffered since the fall of Insomnia.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Noctis mumbled behind a yawn, stumbling toward one of the camp chairs and sinking into it with a groan. "It's you I'm worried about. Gladio and Prom said you were sick?"

He sighed and passed Noct his breakfast, casting a glare of disapproval on the other two and pleased to note that at least Prompto gulped and moved two steps back.

 _Bloody traitors, the both of them_.

"I am quite alright, Noct," he finally said, seating himself once more beside the fire and beginning to cut into his own breakfast. He still didn't have much of an appetite, and the ache in his belly hadn't lessened any over the last couple of hours, but he preferred not to start the day on just a can of Ebony if he could avoid it. "As I told them last night, it was likely a result of some slight overindulgence at dinner, nothing to be concerned about."

"Good to hear," Noctis flashed him a relieved smile, and then thankfully let the matter drop.

They ate their breakfast in silence, too sleepy to converse much. Gladio, as usual, was the first to finish and began breaking down camp while Ignis cleaned and packed the dishes and Noctis and Prompto challenged each other to a few rounds of King's Night. In fifteen minutes they had loaded everything into the Regalia and were on the road to Hammerhead, Noctis nodding off almost immediately and Gladio becoming immersed in one of his novels while Prompto sat up front with Ignis and sang along to some familiar song on the radio.

About an hour later, Ignis was beginning to feel distinctly unsettled. A headache was forming at the base of his skull, which he knew could not be due to a caffeine deficiency since he had been sipping his second can of Ebony since the drive began; his hands were sweaty beneath his gloves and trembling where they clutched the wheel, and the same insistent swell of nausea he had felt in the early morning hours was starting to creep up on him again. Worse, though, was the discomfort in his stomach, which had changed now from a dull ache to a sharp, shooting pain that would ease off for a minute or two at a time before stabbing into him all over again.

He had been driving the last ten miles or so with his left hand discreetly massaging his abdomen, since the pressure seemed to alleviate the pain just a bit, but a particularly intense pang caught him off guard enough to break part of his composure, and he grunted and leaned forward slightly as he resisted the instinctive urge to double over completely.

"Iggy?" Prompto asked, quietly enough that only Ignis could hear. "Something wrong?"

Ignis shook his head, instantly regretting it when it made his vision swim and nearly sent him into the wrong lane, and straightened his posture immediately, left hand now back on the wheel.

"I'm fine," he answered a little more curtly than he intended, and he could practically see the gears starting to turn in the gunner's head as his eyes narrowed.

"If you say so…" Prompto said a little more loudly than before, still eyeing Ignis suspiciously out of the corner of his eye. "But seriously, if you need a break or something just say so. I can take a turn driving too, y'know."

"Now _that_ is a horrifying thought," Gladio quipped from the back, and Prompto gasped and clutched his hand dramatically over his heart.

"Gladio, you wound me! How could you be so cruel?"

"Nothin' personal, Prom, just want to make sure we don't wind up dead halfway to Altissia because you wrapped the car around a tree."

"There aren't even any trees out here."

"I'm sure you'd find one."

Prompto huffed and sat back down in his seat, his worry for Ignis momentarily forgotten, and the man in question found himself breathing a soft sigh of relief. While he did appreciate his friends' concern, it was completely unnecessary and more than a little demeaning. He had served his king without fail through much worse than a bit of stomach upset, and he was not about to shirk those duties simply because he felt slightly under the weather.

With that thought in mind, he strengthened his resolve and pushed the pedal down a little harder, hands gripping tightly to the wheel as he steered the Regalia over the empty highway through the vast countryside that bordered Leide.

 **~FFXV~**

Prompto had been keeping an eye on Ignis for about an hour now, although if the other man knew it he sure wasn't letting on that he did. Something had been nagging at him since the night before, telling him Ignis was not as okay as he let on, but up until now he hadn't really had any kind of proof that his suspicion was actually justified. Ever since breakfast, though, he'd noticed the way Ignis's face was losing more and more color, the tremble in his hands and the way he kept reaching up to swipe away moisture beneath his eyes – sure, their eyes all watered a little bit riding in an open convertible, that much was unavoidable, but to do it this much when he was wearing sunglasses on top of everything else? Nope, something was definitely off.

He wasn't surprised when Ignis rejected his offer of helping to drive the Regalia. And yeah, okay, maybe he _had_ crashed it into a parked car once on a residential street, and grazed a mailbox that one time, and a parking meter once after that… but he wasn't _that_ bad of a driver, okay? He wasn't going to get them killed or anything, he liked them all too much to do that. Still, he kept watching the advisor even closer after that, determined to figure out what this nagging feeling was and why it was making him so anxious.

For better or for worse, it turned out he didn't have long to wait before he found out.

They had been driving for another ten or fifteen minutes when the car suddenly swerved, Noctis and Gladio jolting awake as it squealed to a skidding stop on the shoulder of the highway. Before they had a chance to ask what was going on Ignis had flung the driver side door open and collapsed to his knees beside the Regalia, propping himself up with one violently trembling arm as he clawed the other into his belly and a pained whine escaped the back of his throat.

Gladio was out the door and kneeling beside him in just seconds, and Prompto stayed where he was and motioned for Noctis to do the same, wanting to help but knowing how much it was probably already killing Ignis's pride to have just one of them hovering over him like this, let alone all three. He winced when he heard a hiccup and then a gag, biting his lip to keep from getting sick right along with Ignis, and then jumped at the sudden panicked "Fuck!" he heard from Gladio.

Fear overrode whatever revulsion he may have been feeling and he crawled across the seat to peer out of the door, and as soon as he did he felt like a spike of ice had dropped into his gut. Ignis was slumped over, shaking so hard he was almost convulsing and clutching weakly onto Gladio's vest as he held him up with one massive arm beneath his chest. On the ground in front of him was a pool of blackish-red bile, which still dripped sluggishly from his slack lips with every weak heave from his stomach. Labored breaths wheezed in his chest, and as Prompto looked on Gladio pressed a large hand to his neck, feeling for his pulse and swearing again when he felt how faint and thready it was.

"Noct, potion, now!" Gladio barked, and Noctis hurriedly obeyed, retrieving one from the Armiger and tossing it to his Shield. "Alright, drink up," he coaxed Ignis in the calmest voice he could manage. Ignis groaned pitifully but gulped down the majority of the pungent liquid. It only stayed down for about five seconds before spraying back up between his lips, and Gladio ignored the fact that part of it had gotten on him too, clenching his jaw hard enough that they could almost hear his teeth grind when he saw that in just that short time it had already turned crimson as well. If the potion hadn't worked, then this wasn't some regular medical issue like an ulcer; it had to be something magical – or something poisonous.

"Gods, Specs," Noctis whispered, hands gripping the door of the car so hard his knuckles were white, but Ignis didn't seem to hear him, too insensate with pain to focus on anything else.

"Toss me an antidote!" Gladio all but shouted, the confusion and alarm in his voice barely controlled this time.

Noctis looked through the Armiger once, then again, and Prompto saw the color drain from his face. "Prompto?" he asked weakly, and Prompto could hardly stand to look at Noct as he shook his head.

"Noctis! Get the lead out!" Gladio ordered again.

The raven-haired man looked like he was about to be asked to personally sentence his advisor to death, and he gripped the car door so hard his arms shook as he choked out, "We don't have one…"

"Say again?" Gladio's voice was deceptively calm, and Prompto found himself shrinking down at the Shield's tone, nearly icy enough to make Shiva herself cold.

"We don't have any, Gladio!" Noctis rasped, his voice shaking as he looked down at Ignis, who was very possibly dying right in front of them. "We used up the… the last one two days ago."

Ignis gave a pained moan and started to slump over in Gladio's arms, and the larger man turned his focus back to his comrade. "Iggy, hey, come on man, don't do this. You hold it together just a bit longer, we're gonna get you help!"

Despite his plea, Ignis's eyelids began to flutter, and he craned his neck to look over toward the car, teeth clenched and each breath hissing sharply between them. "N… Noct…" he gasped out, and then went limp in Gladio's grip with a weak sigh.

"Iggy! No, hey, come on. Iggy, _Ignis_ … FUCK!" Gladio roared, scooping the smaller man up into his arms like he weighed nothing and whirling around to face the Regalia. "Noctis, I need you to drive us to Hammerhead as fast as you can, you understand me? It's a long shot, but we're just gonna have to hope to the gods Cid and Cindy have an antidote we can give him for whatever the hell's causing this."

Noctis didn't need to be told twice. In a flash he was in the driver's seat with the car in gear, and the moment Gladio seated himself in the back, Ignis held securely across his lap, he pressed the pedal to the floor, tearing away toward Hammerhead fast enough to leave smoke in their wake.

 **~FFXV~**

The next time Ignis awoke, he was rather surprised to find himself lying in a real bed, rather than stretched out on a bedroll in their shared tent or reclining back in the driver's seat of the Regalia at a rest stop. It took his vision a moment to reach a decent level of clarity, and he was a bit perturbed to discover that his spectacles were not on the bedside table, but even once he realized he was inside Cid's home, he could not for the life of him recall how he had gotten there.

He moved to sit up, groaning softly when every muscle from his chest to his hips seemed to pull painfully with the motion, and then he found himself wondering if Prompto might possess some type of telepathy when he suddenly flung the door wide and bounded into the room, his eyes bright and lips pulled into a toothy grin as he caught sight of Ignis.

"Guys, he's awake!" the gunner shouted, and seconds later Gladio, Noctis, and Cid filed in behind him. Noctis took the seat right beside the bed and leaned close but not enough to touch, as if he were afraid he might hurt Ignis somehow if he did, and Prompto hovered just inside the doorway, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet.

Gladio sighed in relief and leaned back against the wall, arms loosely crossed as he smiled at Ignis. "Good to have you back, man."

"Indeed, I am happy to be 'back,'" Ignis started. "But could one of you possibly explain how exactly I came to be in Cid's bed?"

"Whadda you remember?" Cid asked instead.

"The last I recall I was driving the Regalia. I briefly remember feeling unwell, and pulling over to the side of the road, but past that, I'm afraid I can't recall."

"Well, 'unwell' is sure one way of puttin' it," the old mechanic said gruffly. "When these boys brought ya in here you were nearly dead, and if we had'na had those extra antidotes layin' around you sure as hell would'a been. You feelin' alright now, though?"

Ignis blinked, taken aback by this new piece of information. "I hadn't really thought much of it, but yes, other than a touch of muscle tension I feel completely refreshed. I'm afraid I don't understand, though. I was poisoned? How?"

"That's what we're trying to find out," Noctis answered grimly. "Do you remember anything odd? Any kind of scrape or sting you might've gotten while we were hunting?"

"I can't recall any such thing, no," Ignis answered, wracking his brain for anything he had done differently on one of their hunts.

"And ya haven't been takin' any new 'experimental' potions? No mystery tablets from some high school party?" Cid asked with a teasing smirk.

"Who, Iggy?" Prompto asked with a laugh. "Riiight. The closest thing he'd ever even get to a drug was those mushrooms we had for dinner the other night." He suddenly froze in place, face growing a couple of shades paler, and he and Noctis shared a horrified look.

"You don't think…" Noctis croaked, and Prompto gulped loudly.

"I mean, no, but… That's the only thing I can think of…"

Ignis immediately caught on to what they were implying, and by the look on Gladio's face, he had too.

"Prompto, are there any of those mushrooms remaining from yesterday?" he asked slowly, and the blond nodded, seeming to have lost his voice for the moment. "Bring one here, if you would."

The gunner all but bolted from the room, and it felt like everyone was holding their breath as they waited for him to return. It only took about a minute, and then he strode up and placed one of the yellow-orange fungi into Ignis's hand, his own hand trembling so hard he almost dropped it in the process. Ignis took a long moment to gaze at it, comparing every detail against the myriad of information stored in his encyclopedic memory, and then nodded tightly as everything suddenly began to make sense.

"This is not a chanterelle mushroom," he said definitively as he held it up for Cid and Gladio to see as well. "This is a jack-o-lantern mushroom, a poisonous lookalike which can kill a man if consumed in great enough quantity." Gladio made an odd sound in his throat, looking like he wanted to simultaneously throw up and punch something, and Noctis and Prompto gaped at him with wide, terrified eyes, guilt and remorse warring for the dominant position on both of their faces. Cid grunted his understanding and nodded, crossing his arms with a glare at the younger men's backs.

"Prompto, Noctis, come take a closer look, please" he instructed calmly. The two of them looked like they would rather die, but they did as he instructed, and he held the mushroom upside down so they could see its distinguishing features more clearly.

"Now, as you can see, the gills on the underside of the cap here are very straight, and the grooves between each are very deep. The easiest way to distinguish the two is that genuine chanterelles will have 'false' gills, which are wavy, forked, and shallow rather than straight and deep like 'true' gills. False gills also reach partway down the stem, which as you can see, these do not, and are much more difficult to separate from the cap without ripping pieces of it off. It is an easy mistake to make, and I am just as much at fault for not paying more attention to them myself before cooking them." He clenched a fistful of the blanket in his hand, a shudder running down his spine. "To think, had I convinced you and Noctis to eat them as well –"

"Nope, no way, you do _not_ get to blame yourself for this one, Specs," Noctis said vehemently, his voice dripping with self-loathing as tears of shame pooled in his eyes. "You were the one who trusted us to find them for you, and even after looking up a picture to make sure it was the right kind, we still almost _killed you_!"

"And yet here I sit, still very much alive," Ignis remarked dryly, reaching out to clasp his king's hand in his right and Prompto's in his left as he gave them his best stern look. "This was an honest mistake, one that could have been made by anyone, including Gladio or myself. Neither of you is to blame, and I will not tolerate you berating yourselves for it for even a moment longer. Is that in any way unclear?"

"You can't be serious," Prompto said quietly, his voice wavering. "How can it possibly be that simple? How can you just… forgive us like that? We can't just let this go! There has to be something we can do to make this up to you, Iggy."

Ignis sighed and shook his head, smirking at the two of them as the perfect idea sprang to mind. "Very well. If you two feel you must do something 'make it up to me,' then we can begin with a refresher course in foraging for edible plants. I expect the both of you to be awake at sunrise each day for the next week, and you will accompany me to gather fresh ingredients before I teach you how to prepare them for our breakfast."

He waited a moment, expecting at least a token protest from Noctis about having to rise at the break of dawn for a week, but was pleasantly surprised when he received none. Instead the prince nodded, wiped his eyes, and smiled weakly up at Ignis. "You got it, Specs."

"I do have one other question though, Iggy," Prompto said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder at Gladio. "Big Guy ate a skewer of those things himself too, and nothing happened to him. Not that I'm not happy about that or anything, but what gives?"

"Ah, yes, that would likely be due both to the fact that I consumed nearly three times as many as he did, and the fact that he has by now built up at least a small tolerance to the majority of the common toxins in this realm."

"Perks of being an Amicitia," Gladio added with a grin. "Most people aren't stupid enough to take the king's Shield on mano-a-mano, so they think poison's the next easiest way to get through me to him. It's no coincidence that I've been eating questionable things pretty much my whole life."

"Huh, the more you know," Noctis muttered, quirking an eyebrow.

"And, uh, I guess in a way you were kind of right, Noct," Prompto added with a chuckle. "Maybe skipping vegetables _is_ the safer way to go."

Not even Ignis could bring himself to reprimand Gladio when he chose to wallop the gunner over the head with a pillow.

* * *

 **A/N: Yeah, so, I may have put a little more whumping on Iggy than I intended to at the start. (Woops.)**

 **And in case you were curious, yes, jack-o-lantern and chanterelle mushrooms are real things, and jack-o-lantern mushrooms really are their toxic lookalikes. The toxin in them is called "muscarine," and a few of the symptoms are vomiting (including vomiting blood), abdominal pain, sweating, rapid heart rate, low blood pressure, teary eyes, respiratory failure... Yeah, not a very good time. The antidote in "our" world is called atropine, but I figured drugs like that wouldn't have a reason to exist here since antidotes work on such a broad spectrum.**

 **Please let me know what you think of my first fic - the feedback is great for helping me up the ante in the future. :D**


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